Thursday, February 5, 2015. It was a beautiful day and Maria and I were doing some errands that day. Buying some materials I needed for the packages, getting insurance for the car, grocery shopping and, of course, we had our weekly doctors appointment to check how the baby was doing. Maria was already in week 41 of her maternity. We figured that it would't go pass that weekend or else they would have to enduce labor.
I remember sitting in the waiting room reading cute little books. I was imaging when I would get to read this stories for my baby at night. Finally we were called in. They did the normal vital check ups on the baby to see how he was doing inside mommys womb, as well as, checking her contractions. I watched as the zig zags would go up and down. The doctor finally came in and did some measurements and told us the baby was doing great and that we needed to go to the ultrasound department a couple of doors down.
We waited in the next room again...
Finally we were called again and after a series of questions, the doctor came in and started feeling my wife's belly and as she was feeling her belly her demeanor changed.
"hmmm" she said.
Hmmm? Hmmm is never good in a hospital setting! What does hmmmm mean?!!
She rushed to grab to ultrasound wand and poured the clear gel on it and proceeded to rub it in my wifes belly. She looked at the screen which showed our baby.
"Thats what I was afraid of," she said.
"Whats going on?!" I asked nervously.
"Your baby hasn't turned the way it should. Head down," she said.
"I don't know if his embelical cord is around his neck but it's has to be some force of nature that you are here today. I mean, if your wife contracts more the embelical cord could of dropped and it could of been disastrous." she said.
"Does it mean she needs a C-section?," I asked.
"Yes as of right now. You need to take her right now to the hospital. I will make the appointment from here and I will meet you at the hospital."
My heart began to pump fast as I raced to the hospital but not before picking up my mother from the house, which was in proximity to the hospital. I needed to pick her up because after I arrived at the hospital I needed to pick up my brother from work and I needed to pick up the rest of the things she needed for her stay at the hospital.
That was the slowest 30 minute ride I have ever had.
When I finally pulled up and went to the second floor of the hospital I found my wife. Lying there, as if she was just relaxing. I tried so hard to keep myself calm so I wouldn't stress her out.
"How are you feeling?"
"I am nervous," she said with a calming voice.
I held her face and told her that everything was going to be ok. I knew it was, it had to be. I wanted John Taze in my life so bad.
So what do photographers do when they wait in the bed before surgery? I mean we had six hours to kill before she went under the knife. The asnwer was obvious. We photograph each other. What else is there to do?
We talked, we listen to our neighbor going through her pains of labor. I try to attend all the needs my wife needed. Fluffing pillows, making her laugh, brushed her hair, answer any questions she had. She didn't know, but I was scared too.
The doctors had asked me to step out for a second as they were preparing her for surgery. When I went outside to the dim cold corridor with my mom, I turn my back against the wall and proceeded to remember every error and mistake that I have committed against God and began to implore him to please forgive me and to please keep my wife and baby safe. I couldn't bear the fact that I could lose either one of them that night. I tried to keep my composure and held back the tears because I didn't want my mother to see me at my weakest.
The doctors gave me a package. My scrubs.
I was going go in the operation room.
When I saw my wife and her scrubs a feeling of happiness came over me. In a couple of hours, I was going to meet John Taze Ruiz. My son.
My son. My son. MY...SON!
I felt like a chapter in my life was going to close. A book was closing and a whole new one was being started. A new era of the rise of John Taze.
"It's time," a man voice said from behind the curtain.
I put on my scrubs and got our personal items together and proceeded to walk behind the doctors who were carting away my dear wife.
I remember walking that corridor thinking, "Man, I hope I dont faint."
The doctors didn't let me go in as they were preparing her for surgery. I guess with all the needles-into-spine going on in there, they did not want the extra pressure. Which was understandable. But I couldn't help sneaking a peak from my lonely room across the operation room. I didn't see very much. Just my wife's body being basted with some yellow liquid.
The finally let me in to be with my wife. They told me not to take picture behind the curtain only from where my wife's face side. So I before I started snapping some pictures, I wanted to make sure my wife was ok. I remember seeing her calm yet nervous eyes looking at me, gagging from the medication. First the first time since I met my wife, I saw her as a hero. She was just so calm, I could tell she was just trying so hard to keep her composure. I fell more in lov...
Was that a blue small leg I just saw over the curtain?
John Taze was finally here!
He came to this world not making a peep. Not a cry or a whimper. He was just quiet as they carried him to the heating bed.
The doctors began to suction out all the liquids he had to let oxygen come into his body. Then he proceeded to make the quiet soft cry as the doctors began to clean him up and swaddle him in a blanket.
I cried. This is so magical. So amazing!
"He is a beautiful baby," One surgeon replied.
"thanks. do you guys mind if I facetime my mother"
As I was calling my mom. John Taze grabbed my finger with his tiny hand. My life had a new purpose. This child was not gonna be without a father. I would always going to be there for him.
"Hello" said my brother. He was sitting in bed as if he has been waiting for the call.
"He is here"
"MAAAAA!" he scream to call my mom, who had gone home earlier. Doctors didn't let anyone but me go into the operation room.
"Mom...he is here" I said as i switched the view of the camera.
She begin to cry. We both knew why we were crying. The same reason we cried at my wedding. This was, to us, a way of saying "we beat the world" "we can be a full functioning family like any other family despite our tribulations and obstacles we endured"
The birth John Taze Ruiz was a defining moment for our family. At 9:27 PM, our family lives had change.
Oh wait! MAMA! I forgot about Maria. The doctors started laughing when I told them, I haven't even shown him to my wife! What a jerk! The doctors carried him to meet the woman he has been living in for 41 weeks. It was love at first sight...
...until the baby started crying.
The night was the nights of many first...I got to bath him first. Change his diaper first, burp him first. It was just magical...for lack of a better word.
That night, I fully understood what Jehovah God felt for us. This was the first time I ever felt that type of love. To care for someone so deeply, you would do anything for him. To think about the future, how to raise him. How to understand him. How to be loving.
My wife and I share something in common, we both didn't have fathers. Real fathers. We adopted Jehovah our God as our Father. We both wanted to be what WE wanted as parents. Not that our mothers did a bad job. But it's different when it's a single mother trying to be a father. Our lives were going to change..for the better.
Seeing him for the first time put so many things in perspective. My health, my spirituality, my priorities. I needed to put everything in it's proper place to give him the best their is in life in a world full chaos. To show him there can be love in a loveless world.
No matter what...
There will always...
be seven million people
to love him and to guide him
in the righteous ways of Jehovah.
But for now, and hopefully forever. We would take charge of that.
When my mom, now a grandma, saw John Taze. She fell in love with him. I can almost say John felt the same way.
My brother Jonathan, whom John was named after, was whom I wanted to see. My brother can appear cold and detached from the world but I knew John would melt his armor immediately...and he didn't fail.
I have seen my brother shown his emotions since my nieces were born. To finally see his nephew and to hold him. He was just happy.
Through out the four days we were waiting in the hospital, we had close friends and family visit us from all the way from Orange County and Riverside to all the way down to Chula Vista. We were so happy with the visits we were getting.
I have been doing so much bonding since my son was born. Well actually, both of us have. My wife, although recooperating from the surgery, was trying so hard to do her roll as a mother and typical her refuses to sit down. But she didn't have to worry because her hunky loving husband was there to help her out as much as he could...but I didn't breast feed.
This child is getting so much love I really hope we don't spoil him.
No matter how much time I spend with him. There is nothing sweeter than seeing a son and mom just bond by a simple tasking of sleeping.
I was so happy to have him home that Monday, being out of the hospital felt like I was freed from prison. Not in a negative sense but because you feel and you must not leave your wife's side before, during and after giving birth. This is some of the things I will be teaching Mr. John Taze. So he can be a good rebel. Like his daddy.
Three weeks has passed by, and I fall more in love with my little son, John. I hope Jehovah gives me the wisdom to do what is right and to raise him right so he can glorify Jehovah in the ways that I've fail to do so.
Mr. John Taze Ruiz. You sir, will be a good force to be wrecken with.